I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
