"it" just moved
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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