Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
