im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
