If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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