Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
