it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
