Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
