remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
