So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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