Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
