Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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