So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
smell my finger.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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