So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
