would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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