It's Friday. Sex?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Its about making memories worth repressing
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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