My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
