What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
