why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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