you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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