my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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