so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
