Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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