can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
