Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
