Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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