In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
