At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
