i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
