I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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