Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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