you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
