I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
