It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
did i walk over a car last night?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
