he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
