ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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