Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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