it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
