i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
