You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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