I think I just saw someone hide a body.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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