There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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