Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
