Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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