It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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