"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize