after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
