even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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