just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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