My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
