Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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