i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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