so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
