So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
im calling her cock vulture from now on
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
