Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
