Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
