So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
