i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
