so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
