I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize