just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
