Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
