I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
