Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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