i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
