Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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