I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
